Sunday, October 16, 2011

Welcome to Bro Problems...They'll take your hat by the door.

This is the first entry of Bro Problems, a blog devoted to the trying/tribulating, woe-some/worry-some, and sex-filled (or even worse, sexless) days of the "bro."

Urban dictionary defines a bro as such:

"Obnoxious partying males who are often seen at college parties. When they aren’t making an ass of themselves they usually just stand around holding a red plastic cup waiting for something exciting to happen so they can scream something that demonstrates how much they enjoy partying. Nearly everyone in a fraternity is a bro but there are also many bros who are not in a fraternity. They often wear a rugby shirt and a baseball cap. It is not uncommon for them to have spiked hair with frosted tips."

I would like to add a bit to this.  They do not wear just any baseball cap.  There is a specific way to wear such a hat, and by wearing a hat in one of the to-be-described manners, you announce to the world "Look at me. I am bro." Before I go any further about hats, you must understand that hats that do not keep hat shape when not on a head are NOT classified under any sort of "bro" hat.

Now, there are three acceptable ways to wear a hat if you are a bro.  I will list them in order of bro-est to least bro.

Hat-Wearing Way #1- Straight-up bro.
A hat consists of two main parts, the brim and the part that actually touches the head.  Now that I have stipulated that the latter part has to maintain its shape when not upon a head, let us focus on the brim.

Straight-up bros wear the brim flat as Paris Hilton's chest.


Hat-Wearing Way #2- Obviously Bro
The second way to wear a hat and be a bro keeps the brim straight, but this time one must turn the hat around 180º.

Hat-Wearing Way #3- Hmmmm.....probably a bro.

The final way to wear a hat and be a bro requires a bit more information that just the hat in most cases. Brim either flat or curved (the flatter the more easily-recognizable bro).  Hat placement about 20-30º from straight forward.  This is the least bro.

Special thing to be cautious of: Watch out that for people with curved brims, they may not be bros.  They may just be normal people that just can't put on a hat straight.

One small note on picture #3....the thing of importance is that hat placement, not the color of Jay-Z's skin.  Jay Z is not bro, he is gangsta. However, there are many similarities between bros and gangstas.

Now that my first post is done, I plan to update as frequently as bro problems arise.  True, this first post was not bro problems, but that is because it is the introductory post, elaborating on who gets classified as a bro.

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